Radio....Invented by a man
Television...Invented by a man
Motor car...Invented by a man
Mobile telephone...Invented by a man
Telephone... Invented by a man
Internet...Invented by a man
Train...Invented by a man
Airplane...Invented by a man
Computer...Invented by a man
SHENIS ..Invented by a woman
(Says it all)



LOVE POEM TO MY SHENIS
by Kiki

I'll tell you a simple poem,
I'll try to make it quick.
As Freud would say: "The problem with women,
is the absence of a dick."

Penises are super things,
And men should really share.
Women have to squat to pee,
And men don't really care.

The joy of having my own penis
Is a thought I've had for years.
I got my own and named it Shenis
The point should be quite clear.

Long lines at the ladies room
Make me want to holler.
A woman needs her own damn tool
Is that too hard to swaller?

With my Shenis I can stand and pee
and write my name in the snow.
No more tickles from the squatting in the weeds
I go where I want to go.

I love my handy Shenis
No need to defend me.
When men see me use it
They get a case of Shenis-envy!








                                  THE SHENIS RAP       Listen to audio file!
by Kiki

Equal rights have come a long way Lines at the ladies' room make me say "Hey!"

This is my Shenis...not a sex toy Just lets me pee with the other home boys

I think like a woman, but I pee like a man Guys give me crap when I use their can

I say, "Back off buster I got my own tool. So you go sit on the other stool!"

Little girls have to squat and pee On this point I disagree I go where I want to go I write my name in the snow. Yo yo yo ... yo yo yo

Don't mean to be coarse but I'm hung like a horse. Just calll me silly, I'm the filly with the dilly

Guys get a case of shenis envy They scratch their heads and want to examine me

They say how it's hanging --I'm hangin 10 maybe more Don't mess with me buddy - I'll be knocking at your back door!!!




INSTRUCTIONS AND WARNING FOR THE SHENIS

WARNING
Always use your shenis in a safe place. Any location you would normally go without gettin arrested. Ladies, stay out Men's rooms. Men get threatened when approached by a woman with a dick.

WARNING:
Never use in a country that has a problem with women's rights. Like Afganistan. Big clue, if you can't show your face or your body, you shouln't show your shenis.

BASIC INSTRUCTIONS:

Put in place
Pee
Blelch
Scratch
Shake
Shake
Shake
Rinse
zip up




Reason #102 for carrying a SHENIS at all times. Never leave home without the Shenis.
As heard on Jay Leno Show:

EMBARRASSING DATE

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah ..

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun, but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room, and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be all over the front seat of his car!

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down, and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.

All she could think about was the relief she felt, despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender!

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight, and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off", and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing!

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. . . . . .

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender ! ! !

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or, perhaps that should be "pants down."

And you thought your first date was embarrassing? ? ?

Jay Leno's comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being 'pissed off'."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband, and was sitting next to her on the Leno show ! ! !